Feeding, Sleeping, and Your Baby's Development: What You Need to Know
By: Irene Gouge
Today, we're diving into a topic that's near and dear to our hearts – the connection between feeding and sleeping in children, from newborns to preschoolers. As someone who's passionate about creating flexible routines that foster both structure and freedom, I'm excited to explore this essential aspect of parenting with you.
Newborns: The Delicate Balance
The arrival of a newborn is a moment of pure joy, endless wonder, and exhaustion. Yet, it is also a time of round-the-clock needs, particularly in the areas of feeding and sleeping, all the while recovering from the birth. In these initial months, the relationship between the two is incredibly intricate. Your baby's tummy is tiny, necessitating frequent feeds to fuel their rapid growth. However, this also means short bursts of sleep for newborns. As parents, your primary objective is to provide nourishment while gradually guiding your infant into a more structured routine. This is not a time to worry about bad sleep habits. Actually, when your baby is satiated, the better your baby will sleep.
Understanding your child's cries is key during this stage. Is it hunger, fatigue, discomfort, or something else? Learning to distinguish these cues will help establish a sense of balance between feeding and sleep, allowing you to meet your child's needs and communicate more effectively with your little one.
Infants: The Transition Phase
As your baby grows, so does their stomach capacity, leading to longer periods of sleep and more predictable feeding schedules. This is an opportune time to introduce a consistent wake time and bedtime. It offers a sense of structure while still being adaptable during the day to accommodate your child's unique needs.
Cue-based care continues to play a crucial role during this phase. Being attuned to your baby's cues and needs helps establish a flexible routine. The goal is to create an environment where your child can thrive and feel secure, knowing their needs will be met with care and responsiveness.
Toddlers: Exploring Independence
Toddlers are known for their newfound independence and, yes, occasional picky eating habits. This phase can present challenges with feeding, but it's essential to maintain a sense of structure. Encourage a variety of healthy foods while preparing for the opinions and emotions your child may have around what is being offered.
Ellyn Satter says that “if a struggle emerges about eating, a toddler will get so involved in the struggle and so upset that it overwhelms her need to eat. This observation is just as true of struggles about potty training, what to wear, school work, (sleep emphasis, mine) and so on. Throughout your child’s growing up years, it is important to matter of factly set the limits and avoid the emotional fireworks and struggles. Learning to do this with feeding will help you in other areas as well.”
The feeding and play routines impact sleep and having a consistent sleep schedule is equally important. It helps reduce tantrums and meltdowns that may arise due to sleep deprivation. Feeding is a full on activity and requires your child to be well rested to eat well. Your toddler is at an age where they need clear boundaries and a sense of security in their daily routines.
Preschoolers: Routines and Boundaries
By the time your child reaches the preschool years, they will likely have established more structured eating and sleeping schedules. They've had the opportunity to practice these routines since infancy, making this transition smoother.
However, it's not unusual for preschoolers to test boundaries and seek a sense of autonomy. Maintaining clear and kind expectations during mealtimes and bedtime is vital. An effective strategy is empowering your child to participate in routines like meal preparation, making snacks like Peanut Butter Energy Bites turning them into opportunities for learning, play, and connection. Consistency in your routines is key to raising a well-rested and well-fed preschooler.
The Feeding Factor: Establishing Healthy Feeds
A key phrase I often share with parents is "efficient feeds." This means creating a routine where your child knows what to expect, feeds well, and concludes the feeding window with predictability. This approach is based on your child's cues and natural hunger signs. As a sleep consultant, I often surprise parents by highlighting the importance of monitoring a 24-hour feeding and sleeping log. This helps identify your child's organic patterns around sleeping and feeding, a critical practice, especially during the first 18 months of life.
Feeding patterns evolve over time. For instance, newborns may require 12 to 10 feeds, gradually transitioning to 8 to 6 feeds during the first year. Eventually, they settle into a routine that includes predictable mealtimes, like breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, and dinner throughout the toddler and preschool years.
Napping Transitions Over Time
Napping patterns naturally change as your child grows. Newborns might take five short naps a day, reducing to four to three naps between 4-9 months, and then to two naps until around 15-18 months when they are ready to drop down to one nap. After 18 months, children typically continue with one nap a day or, at the very least, a rest time until they reach school age.
In our Healthy Sleep Foundations Course, we dive deep into the essentials of feeding and playing, which significantly impact your child's sleep. Creating daily rhythms and flexible routines is key to ensuring a night of sound sleep. These routines accommodate your child's biological, nutritional, developmental, and behavioral needs, recognizing that your needs matter just as much in this parent-child relationship.
The Challenge: Uncertainty of Feeding or Sleeping?
Parents often find themselves in a quandary when they're unsure whether their child's needs pertain to feeding or sleep. Seeking assistance and support can be a game-changer in these situations. I offer a FREE 15-minute consultation to connect and demonstrate how Loving Lessons can support you in becoming a calm, confident, and well-rested parent.
The Family Unit: Working Together
Creating flexible routines is a family affair. It's not just about catering to your child's needs; it's about working together as a family unit. Engage your child in meal preparation and bedtime routines, fostering a sense of responsibility and cooperation. As a postpartum doula, one of the most rewarding aspects is witnessing parents recognize their newborn's capabilities and learning to trust and communicate effectively. When parents feel stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed, it often stems from uncertainty and fear. One of my strategies to help parents shift is my Breathe LOVE guide - a FREE resource equipped with tools for both feeding and sleep, designed to empower parents and nurture their connection with their child.
The Sleep Factor: A Parent's Lifeline
Sleep is precious for both children and parents. As a sleep consultant, my mission is to help families attain the sleep they need. The feed-sleep connection is a cornerstone of this mission. When children have clear and kind expectations concerning feeding and sleeping, parents can ultimately achieve that elusive calm, confidence, and well-deserved rest.
In an ideal world, everyone would sleep soundly, and I firmly believe it's attainable with the right guidance and strategies. Let's continue to educate parents to be well and sleep well, enabling us all to savor the joys of parenthood with peaceful nights of rest.
To all the moms and dads out there, remember, you're not alone on this journey. We're all in this together, creating flexible routines that provide structure and freedom, nurturing the growth and development of our little ones. Sweet dreams and happy parenting!
Irene Gouge, the passionate CEO of Loving Lessons Sleep Solutions since 2011, is a dedicated Gentle Sleep Coach, Postpartum Doula, and Infant Feeding Specialist. Located in Holly Springs, NC, she empowers parents both online and in person to regain their sleep and strengthen the parent-child relationship. With her gentle, loving, evidence-based, and nonjudgmental approach, Irene fosters love, trust, and secure attachments through flexible routines.
Her vision? A world where everyone sleeps! Irene's mission is to educate parents on helping their little ones sleep, equipping parents with the tools they need to lead and be calm, confident, and rested.
Irene offers comprehensive Sleep Programs, catering to newborns through school-age children, including 1-on-1 sleep consultations, postpartum doula support, and group coaching for Sleep Coaching Success. Through her guidance, she transforms sleepless nights into sweet dreams, allowing families to lead with love.
To learn more, visit Loving Lessons Sleep Solutions.
Last medically reviewed on November 13, 2023